Here is a sample of “Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities.” This essay appears in the IELTS exam which was held on 8th February 2024 Evening slot in INDIA. This essay scores Band 7+. At the end of the sample we have also included how this essay sample marks to Band 7+. Do check also.
Table of Contents
Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities.
In contemporary society, the debate surrounding the optimal allocation of children’s time between studying and physical activities has gained prominence. While some argue for a greater emphasis on academic pursuits, others advocate for a more balanced approach, urging parents to encourage their children to engage in physical activities. From my perspective, while academic achievement is undoubtedly important, fostering a balance between studying and physical activities is crucial for the holistic development of children.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that academic success plays a pivotal role in shaping a child’s future prospects. In today’s competitive world, strong academic performance is often seen as a prerequisite for admission to prestigious educational institutions and securing lucrative career opportunities. Moreover, a solid foundation in subjects like mathematics, science, and languages equips children with essential knowledge and skills that are instrumental in navigating various aspects of life. Therefore, it is understandable why many parents prioritize their children’s academic pursuits and encourage them to dedicate significant time to studying.
On the other hand, excessive focus on academics can have detrimental effects on children’s overall well-being. Prolonged periods of studying without adequate breaks or physical activity can lead to stress, burnout, and even physical health issues such as obesity and musculoskeletal problems. Furthermore, engaging in physical activities not only promotes physical fitness but also enhances cognitive function and mental health. Research has shown that regular exercise can improve concentration, memory, and mood, ultimately contributing to academic success. Therefore, by encouraging children to participate in sports, outdoor games, or other physical activities, parents can support their overall development and well-being.
Moreover, striking a balance between studying and physical activities fosters important life skills such as time management, prioritization, and self-discipline. By learning to allocate their time effectively between academic tasks and leisure activities, children develop valuable skills that are essential for success in both academic and professional spheres.
In conclusion, while academic achievement is undoubtedly important, parents should strive to promote a balanced lifestyle for their children, which includes both studying and physical activities. By striking a harmonious equilibrium between these two aspects, parents can ensure the holistic development and well-being of their children, equipping them with the skills and resilience needed to thrive in all aspects of life.
Here’s how the essay aligns with the Band Descriptors:
- Introduction: “In contemporary society, the debate surrounding the optimal allocation of children’s time between studying and physical activities has gained prominence.”
- Addresses all parts of the question: The essay discusses both the importance of academic achievement and the benefits of physical activities.
- Well-structured argument: The essay presents clear arguments for both sides of the issue and concludes with a balanced viewpoint.
Coherence and Cohesion:
- Logical organization: “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” structures effectively present contrasting arguments.
- Clear progression of ideas: The essay flows smoothly from introduction to conclusion, with each paragraph building upon the previous one.
- Transitional phrases: Phrases like “Moreover” and “Furthermore” help to connect ideas and maintain coherence.
- Good range of vocabulary: “contemporary society,” “optimal allocation,” “holistic development,” “prolific.”
- Accurate and appropriate vocabulary: “pivotal role,” “prerequisite,” “detrimental effects.”
- Less common or idiomatic expressions: “striking a harmonious equilibrium,” “instrumental in navigating various aspects of life.”
- Good grasp of grammatical structures: “it is undeniable,” “strong academic performance,” “promotes physical fitness.”
- Varied sentence structures: The essay utilizes a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences to convey meaning effectively.
- Minor errors: There may be occasional minor errors, but they do not detract from overall clarity or comprehension.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong alignment with the Band Descriptors for Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource, and Grammar, supporting its classification as a Band 7 or higher essay.
If you want to check your own essay to be evaluated. Do comment Below.
Also Subscribe our Youtube Channel.